3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
