Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
