guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
