I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
