Plan B is the new Plan A
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
