So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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