After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
