But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
