Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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