i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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