don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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