So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
