some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Fuck appropriateness.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We had sex on a dog bed..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
