Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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