I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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