Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
