i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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