i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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