what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
