I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
