i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
