i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
