I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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