I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
