he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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