i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
