I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
