Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
