I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
