Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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