My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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