so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
