Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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