Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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