her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
