don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
