She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
