i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
