i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
