her vagine was all disorganized.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
