Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
