Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
