escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
