Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
