no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
