We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
nutella sex= disaster
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
