We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
