wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
