You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
