I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just pee around me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
