I hope mine doesn't look like that
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
