If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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